Only a mothe r could love this liver
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
