I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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