you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
