Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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