he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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