So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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