Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize