it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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