I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
