I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
