How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
