I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
