Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
