shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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