So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
