theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
