Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
