so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
