Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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