Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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