i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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