Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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