If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
