i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
