so that wasnt chicken after all
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
