All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
