I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
