Dual....:-)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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