I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
