New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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