my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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