she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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