I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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