I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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