True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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