Nicole vs. Life
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Bring me that man meat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
