i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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