he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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