what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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