My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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