Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
