Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
