Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
