I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
