Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
