I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You don't make any sense
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