Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
