This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My life is pants optional.
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