It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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