You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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