I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
