I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
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Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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