You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
