New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
